On Grieving, Gratitute and Guilt

Grieving is a natural, desirable, even necessary experience for one to be mentally healthy during times of severe personal loss.
Grieving is a process, not a fleeting emotion to be experienced and quickly subverted. The process of grief takes time. And each grieving person has his or her own timetable.
No two people, however close, grieve in the same way. It is a process as unique as an individual's personality.
While specialists have defined steps in the process, each phase will be longer or shorter for one person than another.
No length of time in grieving is right or wrong. Grieving becomes a problem needing help only when one becomes trapped in one stage and does not progress through the process to the place where the loss is accepted and the bereaved person is able to return to a degree of normalcy.
One rarely "gets over" the death of a father or mother or spouse or child. The loss is too deep, too permanent. Rather, through a healthy grieving process, one gains the ability to cope with the loss.
The day comes when memories no longer focus on the loss, but on the joy of remembering the good times.
A void is still there, but gratitude replaces grief as the dominant emotion.
Grieving as a process involves distinct stages. Each requires special understanding and effort to deal with.
......to be continued.....


Let grief do its work. Tramp every inch of the sorrowful way. Drink every drop of the bitter cup. Draw from memory and hope all that they can offer. To see the things our loved ones have left behind will give us daily pain--the clothes they wore, the letters they wrote, the books they read, the chairs in which they sat, the music they loved, the hymns they sang, the walks they took, the games they played, their seat in church, and much beside--but what would we be without those reminders? Would we like quickly to break with the past in order to ease our grief? Those who truly love will say that they have found in sorrow a new joy, a joy which only the broken-hearted can know.
"W.Graham Scroggie"

In Isaiah we are told "The Lord has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted....to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve..to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.